The Lance Saga - Fast Food Fun

Fast Food Fun

     Lance drove to a local fast food restaurant called
McDonald's.  He decided to apply for a job just for fun and
walked in.  He asked to see the manager and a short wimpy man
walked up.
     "We can hire you, but are you capable of operating the
equipment?" the manager asked Lance.
     "What equipment?"
     "Like the deep fat frier we use to make french fries."
     "Heh heh!" Lance laughed.  He jumped over the counter,
grabbed the man and stuck him face first into the burning hot
oil.  He held him there for a few minutes as other employees
tried to attack Lance but were deflected by his shield.  He
finally pulled the man out of the grease and his face was
completely cooked.  "Golden brown, just the way I like it." Lance
joked as he rammed an ice pick into the man's temple.
     Suddenly one of the employees began yelling obscenities at
him in Spanish.  Lance easily comprehended the insults since he
speaks and understands over 500 different languages.  "What the
fuck did you say??" he screamed.  Lance grabbed the man and put
his hands onto the grill.  He yelled out in burning agony and his
skin simply peeled off.  Lance then punched him in the kidneys
rupturing them.  More workers attempted to assault Lance so he
destroyed them with his acid tipped ninja sword.  Once everyone
was dead he pretended to be an employee and walked up to the
counter.  Some customers said they wanted a Big Mac.  "What the
fuck is a Big Mac?" Lance said.
     "Are you stupid, everyone knows what a Big Mac is."
     "WHAT!!!!" screamed the enraged Lance.  He leapt over the
counter and grabbed the mother fucker by the throat.  A quick
twist and he was dead.  The man's fiance, some sexy blonde,
screamed in horror and shock.  She began shaking her man trying
to revive him.  "He's dead, bitch, and so are you."  Lance
grabbed her hair, and plunged his Defender hunting knife into her
back and between her ribs until it protruded from her left
breast.  She remained alive so he yanked it out and slit her
throat.  He laughed as she suffered horribly and died in
disgrace, blood pumping out of the massive gash.  He walked out
of the fast food place, jumped back into his car, and drove away.